Hard lessons Learned In Life...

Sometimes as u wander your way through life not really paying attention to whats going on around you, or maybe you you've drifted off so far from yourself you find yourself losing sight of who you really are....Sometimes you trust people more than they deserve, or sometimes you find it so hard to trust yourself that you find it difficult to trust other people. Truth is theres no pure hard and fast way to know that who you view as your friends or confidants are truly worthy of that honour or not..all you can do is put your hope, faith and heart in a little glass jar and shakily hand it to someone you somehow deemed worthy enough to trust with most of your deepest secrets.Unfortunetly for me and so many people in my position over the course of 2 sleepless nights and days someone chose to smash that glass jar.. then to further the insult they proceed to trample on my faith and hope and stab my heart through with a thousand daggers...with little or no thought or respect to my feelings. As i paced the hallway livid with anger, and my heart crushed with such intense hurt i realised that it started to bring up all the thoughts and anger that i had pushed aside from other people who had done the same thing.Only it was slightly different. This definetly hurt more because the reason for the attack was completely unfounded. Reflecting back i thought about how I felt then and how I felt now..Anger can release itself in so many different ways but inevitably when you sum it all up anger as an emotion can only manifest in 1 form and that is pure negativity. Anger, hate,depression,withdrawal and spite are all forms of negativity that can and will occur if u allow yourself to be overtaken by that 1 emotion.So to cut a very long story short I decided there and then that no longer was I to exert such a negative force on my life, towards another person or place or myself. From this moment on I decided to channel that energy into a positive form and focus that positivity into something ive never really focused on before. MYSELF. My whole life Ive been too scared of trying anything, because everytime something remotely good happened to me i would lose friends or cause people to be upset or jealous or enraged (all negative forms by the way) so i put down my guitar, put down my artwork, put down my cosmetology skills and let other people copy my dreams,my personality and my aspirations, and do well whilst Ive sat and watched in the sidelines..well, no more..Im gonna focus on being the best me (the ONLY me) there can be - no matter what people do to try to bring me down. I shall make positivity my new life motto and I shall spread it to all I see, living negatively is no way to spend your life, even if you feel you were accused or hurt, even if you feel you were wrong or right, even if you feel downtrodden and especially even if youve been so hurt by the people around you that are MEANT to support and nurture you.The more positive thoughts you send to all you meet, all you love and all you dislike the more positivity will come back around to you, and seeing how I havent exactly tried very hard this month and so many exciting things have happened already I can only imagine such great things that will be waiting for me around the corner..well, not only for me but for everyone esp if you are hurt, angry and even especially to the people who choose to hurt you because maybe if something positive happens in their life they will start to feel some sort of compassion in their lives and might actually think twice before doing that to someone else further down the track, you never know where life will lead you and inevitably you always meet the same people on your way down that u trampled on when you were on the way up. And that goes for us all, so hopefully if we all deal with each other in a positive light we will all move up in life on to bigger better and greater things, living our dreams to the full and NOT kicking the people who were already down to begin with..not cool.. a wise man once quoted that 'a real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.' Walter Winchell. Ive always held this as a true representation of what a true friend should be..from now on I will look 4 this as my basis for forming new friendships instead. After all if we all have the same base/beliefs then all our faults and /or differences wont mean a thing theyll just be what makes the friendship interesting but more importantly, ill be sure to make for damn certain that the person I choose to protect my lil glass jar full of hope, faith and heart is worthy of such a responsible and precious task. I hope u all make sure that who you trust are responsible enough and complete in heart enough to care for you back as this is what true dreams are made of and where you will find much enrichment in your life.

Disclaimer: those who constantly get offended by text for no reason at all, this is about an emalgamum of people/events in my life not just 1 event. Im drawing on how i was affected by what happened in the last two days and my earlier life not on the actual people who did said things or what they did or didnt do..water under the bridge...its just a reflection on how I shouldve/couldve lived my life differently to avoid getting into these scrapes..I have just used these last 2 days and events in my earlier life as an example. This is meant more for my own advice than anyone elses and I mean no ill will to anyone

WOOOHOO

hey peeps..off on a trip soon n im sorta excited 4 half of it but...not so excited to see my family so much haha..im gonna see my lil bro get married which will be cool but weird how everyone u intensely dislike tends to show up to these gatherings huh?? LOL anywayz who cares..im a kick my shoes off n have me a total blast with my bestie who i havent seen for 3 (4?) cant remember now years...but A LOOOOONG time n is my main reason for going...(due to the fact that i LIKE her and no halfwit morons will be around to wreck the day like at my brothers wedding HAHA) Planning as much jamm paced excitement in the two days i will be there and am seriously hoping neither of the planes crashes n takes me out b4 my time as i will be SUPER p'd off!!LOL my life is kinda/sorta startin to pick up n dont want it to end just yet..im super paranoid at flying can u tell?? LOL but as with all fears the only way thru it is to push yourself off of the diving board n jump off into the deep end n see what happens oncce your thru the other side else you'll never achieve anything in life..sooo here goes it!! anywayz hope u r all havin a great time too!! till next time (and possibly some camera/vid footage on my you tube??) stay awesome n live your dreamz!! :DDD xoxoxox

more pix from post before...see last post 4 other pix

ok so these r last couple pix..Harbour town which somehow even has a rainbow..(go visit n see if theres a rainbow for u too!!) an 'insiders' view of the *ahem* ladies room (in case u were wondering..yup toilets were gross..just thought Id share haha) and an old hotel :) hope u like post below if you've been or if u have a funny caption 4 the toilet pic HAHAHA catcha all soon n have an awesome day filled with much awesomeness!!

Sightseeing from your computer screens Part Two...Melbourne city :)

Hi guys..just posting pix from my latest trip to melbourne...This will probably be my last Melb City trip 4 a while since Ill be slaving like a dog 4 the next couple months so enjoy this lil sneak peek at 1 of the greatest cities on Planet Earth

my net :(

hi peeps just lettin u know ive been havin some major net issues so thats why i havent been able to post anything much or blip any songs :( major withdrawal syndrome here ) anyhowz hope u r all havin an awesome day n ill be back with more bloggies/you tube postings soon!!!

weird...

this may be weird..but i kinda had to like follow MYSELF?!?!? to be able to post comments back to u all..so just letting u know..no I am not THAT selfabsorbed that I would even follow myself..Im just technologically inept and this is the ONLY way it would let me post back..stoopid huh? oh well..have a great day!! :DDDDD



Some of my fave bands!!



Waiting 4 yet another tram

Station

heya all n how u doing?? im home and incredibly exhausted..but happy tired because I just had the most amazing day...altho I forgot to buy most of what I wanted to because I met such amazing ppl today and got a lot of contacts/info to starting up properly as a make up artist etc which in a way I guess, worked out to be more important than actual 'stuff' in the long run :) plus everything in melbourne is waaaay spread out n im a doofus and kept catching the wrong trams HAHAHA. I took the pic of info booth because a lot of my fave bands r on it and I kinda/sorta got all excited even though I got someweird looks 4 doing so...So the 411 on what I bought today..two brushes from MAC..the 208 eyebrow and 209 eyeliner, a teasing brush from some hairdresser place I cant recall the name of (too much fun haha)(OOPS i just found the bag..its from Petra hair), a bangle with cute flowers, a bling turquoise and silver ring, cake eyeliner from Kryolan (I wanted so much more from there but was babbling away and 4got!! I am SOOO kicking myself right now!!) But the absolute cutest thing I bought today, which I SOOO ADORE is a cute love heart shaped leapord print handbaggy clutch thingie..its sooo funky I LOOOOVE it!! and it was from Valleygirl of all places!..I also saw this cute lil Lolly Shoppe with awesome window display (pic) and I couldnt walk past the cupcake shop without bringin 1 along 4 the rest of my journey!! They had HEAPS of cupcakes to chose from and i had so much trouble deciding haha. Hope u all had an amazing day and live ur dreams 2 the full too!! xoxo